"WHO'S THAT FAT MAN, DAD?"
_Dad_. "DON'T KNOW. HE LOOKS LIKE A PROFITEER."
_Small Boy_. "DON'T YOU THINK HE MUST BE ONE OF THE EXCESS PROFITEERS?"]
* * * * *
"Lady Clerk wanted for office work, with an engineering firm, a few
miles out of Leeds; also able to cook and serve a luncheon for the
principals."--_Yorkshire Paper._
If you want a cook nowadays you must employ a little diplomacy.
* * * * *
"During a discussion on over-crowded motor 'buses a member declared
that on one occasion 110 persons were found 'clinging like bees' to a
car certified to hold 0."--_Provincial Paper._
Some of these might have been accommodated in the bonnet.
* * * * *
"In Nepal His Highness shot what is believed to be the record tigress.
She was a most magnificent specimen, with a total length of 9 feet 7
inches--her body alone measuring 9 feet 5 inches."--_Indian Paper._
The record, of course, consisted in the brevity of her two-inch tail.
* * * * *
From Smith Minor's Scripture-paper:
"Abraham was the man who was very keen to go into the land of Israel
but he did not obey the word of the Lord, and the Lord's punishment to
him was to forbid him to go into this land. There he sat on the heights
of Abraham looking down on this land.
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