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Reade, Charles, 1814-1884

"A Woman-Hater"

"
Vizard sent Harris into Barfordshire, to prepare for the comfort of the
party; and to light fires in all the bedrooms, though it was summer; and
to see the beds, blankets and sheets aired at the very fires of the very
rooms they were to be used in. This sacred office he never trusted to a
housekeeper; he used even to declare, as the result of experience, that
it was beyond the intellect of any woman really to air mattresses,
blankets, and sheets--all three. He had also a printed list he used to
show about, of five acquaintances, stout fellows all, whom "little bits
of women" (such was his phraseology) had laid low with damp beds, having
crippled two for life with rheumatism and lumbago, and sent three to
their long home.
Meantime Severne took the ladies to every public attraction by day and
night, and Vizard thanked him, before the fair, for his consideration in
taking them off his hands; and Severne retorted by thanking him for
leaving them on his.
It may seem, at first, a vile selection; but I am going to ask the ladies
who honor me with their attention to follow, not that gay, amorous party
of three, but this solitary cynic on his round.


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