If you should a bottle get,
No matter on which beat,
Or a morsel sweet to eat,
In the dreary times so hard;
You will find a friend to share it--
Call promptly for the Corporal of the Guard.
GENERAL ORDERS OF THE KITCHEN POLICE
My General Orders are:
1. To take charge of these spuds and all gravy in view.
2. Dish slum in a military manner; keeping on the alert
and observing all meat balls that go within sight or hearing.
3. To report any private or non-com who asks for thirds.
4. To receive, transmit and obey all orders from and allow
myself to be relieved by the Mess Sergeant, first and second
cooks only.
5. To quit the coffee only when properly relieved.
6. To repeat all calls for "seconds" from the dining room.
7. To hold conversation with no one who asks for onions.
8. To allow no one to pass the cooks tobacco or booze.
9. To salute all slum not incased in an overcoat.
10. In any case not covered by instructions call the first cook.
11. In case of fire take out the ashes and get a bucket of coal.
12. Between reveille and retreat turn out the cook and the
cook's police for all objects found in the slum, such as
bedbugs, lizards, cockroaches, snakes and other insects not
on the bill of fare.
BY ORDER OF GENERAL R. U. HUNGRY:
Peelem Spud,
Commanding Kitchen Police Brigade.
OFFICIAL:
O. U. Meatball,
Major, 3rd Cook Corps,
Brigade Adjutant.
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