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Artzybashev, Mikhail Petrovich, 1878-1927

"Sanine"




CHAPTER XXXI.
In a moment Sarudine's life had undergone a complete change. Careless,
easy, and gay as it had been before, so now it seemed to him distorted,
dire, and unendurable. The laughing mask had fallen; the hideous face
of a monster was revealed.
Tanaroff had taken him home in a _droschky_. On the way he exaggerated
his pain and weakness so as not to have to open his eyes. In this way
he thought that he would avoid the shame levelled at him by thousands
of eyes so soon as they encountered his.
The slim, blue back of the _droschky_ driver, the passers-by,
malicious, inquisitive faces at windows, even Tanaroff's arm round his
waist were all, as he imagined, silent expressions of undisguised
contempt. So intensely painful did this sensation become, that at last
Sarudine almost fainted. He felt as if he were losing his reason, and
he longed to die. His brain refused to recognize what had happened. He
kept thinking that there was a mistake, some misunderstanding, and that
his plight was not as desperate and deplorable as he imagined.


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