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Artzybashev, Mikhail Petrovich, 1878-1927

"Sanine"

Her
presence troubled Yourii. In her company he became more eloquent, his
pulses beat faster, and his brain was more alert. All day long his
thoughts were of her, and in the evening it was she that he sought,
though he never admitted to himself that he did so. He was for ever
analysing his feelings, each sentiment withering as a blossom in the
frost. Whenever he asked himself what it was that attracted him to Sina
Karsavina, the answer was always "the sexual instinct, and nothing
else." Without knowing why, this explanation provoked intense self-
contempt.
Yet a tacit understanding had been established between them and, like
two mirrors, the emotions of the one were reflected in the other.
Sina Karsavina never troubled to analyse her sentiments which, if they
caused her slight apprehension, yet pleased her vastly. She jealously
hid them from others, being determined to keep them entirely to
herself. It distressed her much that she could not discover what was
really at work in the handsome young fellow's heart. At times it seemed
to her that there was nothing between them, and then she grieved as if
for the loss of something precious.


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