On reaching it, when she saw the black, cold water underneath over-
arching boughs, and the current swirling past a corner of the steep
bank, then she realized for the first time how much she longed to live,
and how awful it was to die. Yet die she must, for to live on was
impossible. Without looking round, she flung down her other glove and
her parasol, and, leaving the path, walked through the tall grasses to
the water. In that moment a thousand thoughts passed through her brain.
Deep in her soul, where long it had lain dormant, her childish faith
awoke, as with simple fervour she repeated this short prayer, "Lord,
save me! Lord, help me!" She suddenly recollected the refrain of a
song that latterly she had been studying; for an instant she thought of
Sarudine, and then she saw the face of her mother who seemed doubly
dear to her in this awful moment. Indeed it was this last recollection
which drove her faster to the river. Never till then had Lida so keenly
realized that her mother and all those who loved her, did not love her
for what she really was, with all her defects and desires, but only for
that which they wished her to be.
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