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Rudd, Steele, 1868-1935

"On Our Selection"

Dad commenced to butcher his gums with
the pocket-knife, and threatened to put the fire out with blood and saliva.
"Let's have a look at the tooth, old man," the pressman said,
approaching Dad.
Dad submitted.
"Pooh!--I'll take that out in one act!"...To Joe--"Got a good strong piece
of string?"
Joe could n't find a piece of string, but produced a kangaroo-tail sinew
that had been tied round a calf's neck.
The pressman was enthusiastic. He buzzed about and talked dentistry in a
most learned manner. Then he had another squint at Dad's tooth.
"Sit on the floor here," he said, "and I won't be a second. You'll feel
next to no pain."
Dad complied like a lamb.
"Hold the light down here, missis--a little lower. You gentlemen" (to
Canty and Dave) "look after his legs and arms. Now, let your head come
back--right back, and open your mouth--wide as you can." Dad obeyed,
groaning the whole time. It was a bottom-tooth, and the dentist stood
behind Dad and bent over him to fasten the sinew round it. Then, twisting
it on his wrist, he began to "hang on" with both hands. Dad struggled and
groaned--then broke into a bellow and roared like a wild beast.


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