After much
self-examination and prayer, I did give up myself and children to God
with my whole heart. Never, until now, had I a sense of the privilege
we are allowed in covenanting with God! This act of my soul left my
mind in a quiet and steady trust in God. A few days after this, one
evening, in talking of the glorious state my dear departed must be in,
my soul was carried out in such longing desires after this glorious
state, that I was forced to retire from the family to conceal my joy.
When alone, I was so transported, and my soul carried out in such
eager desires after perfection, and the full enjoyment of God, and to
serve him uninterruptedly, that I think my nature would not have borne
much more. I think I had that night a foretaste of Heaven. This frame
continued, in some good degree, the whole night. I slept but little;
and when I did, my dreams were all of heavenly and divine things.
Frequently since I have felt the same in kind, though not in degree.
Thus a kind and gracious God has been with me in six troubles, and in
seven. But, oh! Sir, what cause of deep humiliation and abasement of
soul have I, on account of remaining corruption which I see working,
especially pride! Oh, how many shapes does pride cloak itself in!
Satan is also busy shooting his darts; but, blessed be God, those
temptations of his that used to overthrow me, as yet, have not touched
me. Oh to be delivered from the power of Satan as well as sin! I
cannot help hoping the time is near.
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