He who holds us in his power could not have been more
unmerciful. He has condemned you to live--to await death in terrible
agonies--for this avowal explains to me the alarming symptoms which every
day develop in you, and of which I sought in vain the cause."
"But these symptoms are nothing serious! It is exhaustion; it is the
reaction of my sorrows! I am not in danger. Is it not so?"
"No, no; but your position is a critical one; you must not make it worse.
Certain thoughts must be driven away, otherwise you run great risk."
"I will do what you wish so I may live, for I do not wish to die. Oh! the
priests talk of the damned! never could one imagine for them a punishment
equal to mine. Tortured by passion and avarice, I have two bleeding wounds
instead of one, and I feel both of them equally. The loss of my gold is
frightful to me, but death would be more frightful still. I wish to live;
my life may be a torture without end, and I dare not call upon death, for
death annihilates my fatal happiness, this phantom of my thoughts, in which
Cecily constantly appears."
"You have at least the consolation," said Polidori, resuming his usual
calmness, "of thinking upon the good that you have done in expiation of
your crimes."
"Yes, rail--you are right; turn me over on the burning coals. You know
well, wretch, that I hate humanity; you know well that these expiations
which are imposed upon me, only inspire me with hatred against those who
oblige me to act thus, and against those who profit by it.
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