Well! now it appears to me less, from hearing
these robbers and these murderers speak of their crimes with obscene jests
or ferocious pride. I surprise myself sometimes envying them their
audacious indifference, and upbraiding myself bitterly for the remorse with
which I am tormented for so slight an offense compared to their misdeeds."
"But you are right; your deed, far from being blamable, is generous; you
were sure of being able to return the money which you took only for a few
hours, in order to save a whole family from ruin, from death, perhaps."
"No matter; in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of honest men, it is a
robbery. Doubtless, it is less criminal to steal for such a purpose than
for any other; but it is a fatal symptom, to be obliged, in order to excuse
one's self in one's eyes, to look around for a reason. I am no longer the
equal of men without a stain. Behold me already forced to compare myself
with the degraded men with whom I live. Thus, in time, I well see,
conscience is blunted, and becomes hardened. To-morrow, I shall commit a
robbery, not with the certainty of being able to restore what I took for a
laudable object, but I shall steal from cupidity, and I shall doubtless
think myself innocent in comparison to those who murder to rob. And yet, at
this present moment, there is as great a distance between me and an
assassin, as there is between me and an irreproachable man.
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