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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Mr. Bingle"

He accepted their good intentions,
he delighted in their thoughtfulness and esteem, but he never
permitted them to go beyond a certain well-defined line. The argument
that he had been generous, even philanthropic, in his days of
prosperity was invariably met by the quaint contention that while the
Good Book teaches charity, the dictionary makes a point of defining
it, and "you can't spell charity, my friend, with the letters that are
allotted to generosity. So don't quote the Bible to me."
He put a stop to the cunning schemes of Diggs and Watson, who, with
Melissa's connivance, began a regular and systematic attempt to
smuggle bacon, eggs, butter and potatoes into the kitchen. This
project of theirs at first comprehended vegetables of every
description and fruits as well, but the sagacious house-maid vetoed
anything so wholesale as all that. She agreed that the accidental
delivery of a side of bacon, or a mistake in the counting of a dozen
eggs, or the overweighing and undercharging of a pound of butter, or
the perfectly natural error of sending a peck and a half of potatoes
when only a peck was ordered, might escape the keen observation of Mr.


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