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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Mr. Bingle"

But real fathers have told me that that is customary.
They call me daddy, if that's what you mean. Once in a while they seem
to recollect that there was another man and woman in their lives, but
not often. Generally people who used to beat them, I gather. I will
say this for our children: they were all thoroughly spanked before
they came to us. It takes 'em a long time to get used to not being
spanked."
"Do you never punish them?"
"Frequently. If they're bad I have them locked in a closet. We've got
a very large closet with windows and other comforts. Usually there are
three or four of 'em in at the same time, so they don't mind."
"God will surely reward you, sir, for being kind to all these poor
little kiddies. May I--ahem!--May I express the hope, sir, that some
day you may me blessed with--er--"
"No use, sir. Thank you, just the same. It will never happen."
"How many nurses have you in your employ?"
"Four at present. We also have a school-teacher--I mean, a governess.
Excellent young woman. Teaches 'em French and German.


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