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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"Mr. Bingle"

We shall probably keep two or three servants--if we can
find anything for them to do--but none of 'em shall receive as much as
you, Melissa. Put that in your pipe and smoke it."
"I--I wasn't asking for a raise, sir," murmured Melissa, in
considerable distress.
"You get it without asking," said Mr. Bingle. It should be remembered
that he was still very much dazed and bewildered.
"Maybe you'll be having a butler and a regular chef. They come pretty
high, sir," advised Melissa, spilling a little of Mrs. Bingle's tea on
the counterpane. "Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Bingle."
"Never mind, Melissa," said Mr. Bingle. "I guess we can afford to
spill a little tea if we like. I've no doubt that a butler would spill
a great deal. It doesn't matter what we have to pay him--if we have
him--you shall have five dollars a month more than he gets. That's
settled."
The least important person at the "reading of the will" was the little
man who sat hunched up in a chair and gazed about him with perplexed
eyes, occasionally touching his sore ears with tender fingers, and
always regretting the act for the reason that it called the attention
of his cousins to something that appeared to gratify them a great deal
more than the actual business at hand.


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