More, I felt
in me a terror lest I should be moved to describe my own experiences
below-stairs, thus increasing their reality and so the reality of all.
She might even explain them too!
Still listening intently, she raised her head and looked me in the eyes.
Her lips opened to speak. The words came to me from a great distance, it
seemed, and her voice had a sound like a stone that drops into a deep
well, its fate though hidden, known.
"We are in it with her, too, Bill. We are in it with her. Our
interpretations vary--because we are--in parts of it only. Mabel is in
it--all."
The desire for violence came over me. If only she would say a definite
thing in plain King's English! If only I could find it in me to give
utterance to what shouted so loud within me! If only--the same old cry--
something would happen! For all this elliptic talk that dazed my mind
left obscurity everywhere. Her atrocious meaning, nonetheless, flashed
through me, though vanishing before it wholly divulged itself.
It brought a certain reaction with it. I found my tongue. Whether I
actually believed what I said is more than I can swear to; that it
seemed to me wise at the moment is all I remember.
Pages:
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126